Still Emmanuel in the Silence

    I met a lady at the gym this week. In our conversation she shared she used to follow Jesus, but now practices a religion devoted to African gods and voodoo. She explained her pursuit of these practices began as she felt that God let her down in life. As I was recently looking back at my past creative writings, one of my short fiction stories reminded me of the frustration she’s experienced with God. The story I’ve attached is somewhat lengthy and is written with full honesty of the struggles of feeling like God is silent at times. Fair warning: it does have some "language," but as I shared in my first blogpost that I’m going to be “real” in these writings, right? Real, relatable writing is what make stories come to life. So, this fictitious story is a heavy one, but maybe one you can relate to. The story is about the tough seasons of life when God seems to have turned a deaf ear to human cries. I’ve definitely been in those silent seasons with Jesus and it’s gruesomely frustrating and painful at times. Although the fictitious story does not end in a perfect little bow, it shares real emotions and the real internal struggles of life through a fictitious character living on Skid Row. 

    Throughout this story, know that God has never walked away. In times when I’ve questioned God being present, I found after that trying season, my faith became more raw and real, although it definitely didn’t feel like it during the in-between process. I became honest with God and stopped beating around the bush, like when two people who aren’t well acquainted are extremely proper with each other. I’ve learned these past years that God wants us to be honest with Him. In this honesty, He heals us and works with us through the struggles of life. He isn’t afraid of our tough questions and wonderings. God is good, loving, patient, and He is Emmanuel- God with us. Sharing my personal writings can be daunting, but putting work out there is a writer’s hardest part. So, here it is and hope you enjoy this short story!

Click here to read the short story titled "Silent God."

-Brittany Prada 🌞

"Listen! The Lord's arm is not too weak to save you, nor His hear too deaf to hear you call." 

                                                                                                                               -Isaiah 59:1

Lover of My Soul (Month #2: part 3)

              I felt a longing in my heart to have a time of unrushed worship that extends past the traditional three songs of a Sunday morning service, which usually include a “welcome” fast paced song and two worship slow songs. (Growing up in the church, I've observed this is usually how it goes. Lol.) So, I began to say, “God, I want to attend a worship night!” Just a little over a week later, my church here in LA announced that they were hosting a worship night that following Sunday.

              After completing my first two weeks of work, the 10 hour work days were slowly wearing me out, so I began to jokingly mention, “Whew, I need a vacation!” That following Monday morning during our first circle meeting at work, I came to find with our virtual days and Labor Day weekend, I didn’t have to go to work in person for 5 days. Immediately I bought a plane ticket to visit home for a few days to have my “vacation” that weekend.

              In my 2+ months of being here, the California skies have teased me many times as they look cloudy, but only pour out a few raindrops. I came to realize that I miss rain. Before the spontaneous “vacation” visiting home, I told God, “Please make it rain, pour, and lightning- all the thunderstorm works- at home because I miss the comfort of rain.” And it rained hard my very last day in Texas.

              Over the span of these instances, it has become apparent to me that God holds on to every word I say. This realization excites me, convicts me, and leaves me in awe. He is the lover of humanity’s soul, that never takes a word we say lightly. I try to fathom this, but it’s tough because I don’t even take my own words seriously at times… but He does!

              With this realization in mind, it makes me think, “If he holds on to every word I say, shouldn’t that drive me to have more faith to come before Him and believe for more because I know that He listens intently with care?” But many times, I don’t. And I think it’s because He does not always come through exactly when I want Him to or how I want Him to. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that He doesn’t hear me. Every word His children say is significant to Him, it’s just a matter of faith and trust in His timing and His heart.

“And if we know that He hears us- whatever we ask- we know that we have what we asked of Him.”

                                                                                                                                             -1 John 5:15

So, let us believe that He values each and every word of ours and let that drive us to come before Him with big faith.

-Brittany Prada 💛

Here’s a song as a reminder of His love for us. His love is a kind that is whole and never broken. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fI9aqfmVmPc

"There Is No Tomorrow" (Month #2: (part 2)

               I woke up at 2 am thinking it was just one of those times when my body wakes up on its own. Then I got a text from my roommate saying she heard shots just a block away. A few seconds later, came the sound of helicopters swarming above the area and the red police lights shining through the blinds of my room. “Yup, this is definitely a mission field,” I thought to myself.

              This is just a glimpse into month #2 here in LA. This month is when I learned more about the realities of this part of the city.  

              Through the stories of violence and injustice experienced by some of the students I work with, noticing the overwhelming amount of people living in tents and tarp housing in the streets, and seeing graffiti painted across the city, my zeal for this mission God has me on began to feel useless. With so much that needs to be addressed in the city and not many big effective changes being made, I began to understand why many non-Californians deemed this state as a “lost cause.” There is so much to be done in this city that it can be overwhelming many times. And it often left me wondering how my small impact here would make any dent of a change. However, I had to remind myself of the beginning and how it was evident to me that God sent me here for a purpose.

             When seeing and hearing about these instances going on in the community, I knew I was to pray for these things, but I often neglected prayer and would say that I’d get to it later “tomorrow” only to be extremely busy to even pray for these things.

             During the day I’d get tired from work and would often half-heartedly be there. Again, when I’d reflect on the tough experiences some of the kids shared with me, I’d say, “Today I wished I gave more since I realize these kids need me to give my all. Tomorrow, I’ll give more,” only to repeat the same cycle of “tomorrow” because I was dealing with insecurities, laziness, and what appeared to be a mission “too big” for me.

             Then within this past month, 3 different people with whom I’ve built community with here in LA unexpectedly had to leave without notice due to personal reasons they were experiencing. Some of these individuals I was not able to say a proper goodbye. It was just a sudden exit.

             I was quickly reminded of the urgency to show Jesus to the people around me and wondered if I gave my all in sharing Jesus for the short time they were in my life. This urgency reminded me that I never know if there is going to be another tomorrow with the same people in my life. Who knows when my time of having them in my life will be just a few short weeks, rather than much longer than I expected?

             I must keep on with perseverance and not get lazy doing the work of God just because it seems way beyond me. If I keep approaching these opportunities and people half-heartedly, the issues around me will defeat me, rather making a change as God intended me to. I soon learned that God wants His people to not keep our eyes on the problem, but rather on Him. It is with this perspective we can continue in God’s work because our strength is in Him and not within ourselves. This month was tough, and I really felt like a worn out boxer slouched in the corner of the boxing ring, with God as my coach urgently instructing me, “Girl, you gotta keep going! Don’t quit! You got more in ya!”

             To sum up this month, I really resonated with this clip from the movie “Rocky III": https://youtu.be/8KRzqPxR5zs and I hope it inspires you as well to not keep waiting till “tomorrow” to give your all. May we face each and every day knowing God is counting on us to continue on with the fullness of His strength. You got more in ya!

-Brittany Prada 💛

Month #2 (part 1)

             During my second month here, I really struggled with being “content,” which is a word we hear so much in the Christian world. Even though I am living out this dream of mine that’s been on my heart for the past 6 years, I still was not completely thankful. I wished I had my friends close by. I wished I lived in a nicer area. I wished I had my own car. I wished I knew what was on the other side of the many uncertainties in my life. I wished for so many things to be how I wanted them to be. Even when God allowed me to live out this calling I’ve been dreaming about for a long time, I still had something to complain about. But, as I always say, “thank God, God is God!” He is so patient with me. To ease the pains of waiting during uncertainty and discontentment, I began to really soak in the famous passage of Psalm 23, but specifically Psalm 23:1.

“The Lord is my Shephard, I lack nothing.”

              I always heard this verse and quickly let it slip through my ears. But this time, I really read it literally and started to think that if God is a good god and His word says with His leading, I lack nothing, then if I’m following Him, He will only give me the best of the best. Therefore, all that I have now is God’s best for me. And if it were any other way, it would not be His greatest for me. I started to see that where I’m at right now in life and every detail of it is exactly God’s most precious gift for me at the moment. It sounds so simple just typing it out, but it is tough sometimes to truly believe the scriptures. “[If] the Lord is my Shephard, I [will] lack nothing.” Reciting this scripture over and over has helped me along the way to trust God and His timeline for my life.

              Month #2 was a tough one, but I’m thankful for the valuable lessons that have been and are being learned.

Here are just a few highlights from adventures this month:

-          Hiked up to Griffith Observatory

-          Went to my first ever NFL game to watch the LA Rams. Learned that I am not a fan of NFL football. Lol.

-          Experimented cooking several recipes

-          Got involved in my church a bit more

-          Met up with my ORU friend at a real park! I really missed parks.

-          Assembled a desk all by myself. Yay!

That’s about it. Stay tuned for more!

-Brittany Prada